Amy flinched at Carrie’s facial expression as Carrie walked toward her. One more friend. One more awkward exchange. One more “How are you doing?” or some other such question. If you’ve followed this blog or read anything in the area of grief and grieving you know that the grieving process is often referred to as … Read More
“We don’t do grief. Yet grief still does us.” (About Grief, Marasco & Shuff, 2010) As in my previous post on eulogies, this reflection was inspired by a book currently on my desk. I’m taking a break from my day-to-day work and for 4 weeks, living in a different city with —to my delight — … Read More
“And he leaves to mourn, with fond and loving memories…” When I first began my work as a counsellor, I was asked about value of a eulogy “because they just make everyone cry”. My response was that, to me, the eulogy was vital to funeral or memorial service. The eulogy was the one time when … Read More
As our bodies age, we notice that scrapes and bumps which once healed quickly (and still do so on our young grandchildren’s bodies) now take months to disappear. Signs of aging and physical scars go together in lockstep. One scar, on my right thumb, now looking like the letter Y, has served me well as … Read More
“Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Who is your oldest friend? When did you meet? When did you last speak — really speak, not text? When we are grieving these old friends are indeed valuable. Perhaps your friend reached out to you during this time. Perhaps he … Read More
“Love is flower like; Friendship is like a sheltering tree.” — Samuel Taylor Coleridge After my mother died, a dear friend gave me a pendant necklace engraved with a tree. No card, just a pale yellow sticky note with the above quote, “Friendship is like a sheltering tree.” I rarely see this friend face-to-face as we … Read More
Pick up any grief book. Or, google grief and loss. Talk to anyone who has buried a loved one, and all will tell you that, when grieving, you should lean on your friends and family. You will read and hear repeatedly that when grieving you should gather the people who love you and accept their … Read More
“When all else fails, take a nap” — unknown (or maybe Mom) In addition to working as a counsellor and writing for Suddenly Single Survival Guide, I’m also an avid photographer. Having learned with a film camera, I have embraced digital photography wholeheartedly. But, as much as I love my camera, it does not work if … Read More
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like … Read More
Regret usually isn’t the first grief emotion we experience. Shock and sadness hit first, but as time passes, a sense of sorrow that we missed doing or saying something becomes regret. I always use the metaphor of pot of stew to describe the emotional aspect of grief. The liquid is the sadness. Sadness washes over … Read More
“You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Imagine yourself as a piece of clay. As your life journey unfolds in front of … Read More
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” – William Shakespeare (Macbeth) I once purchased a book with the title Give Sorrow Words having no idea that this phrase was quoting Shakespeare. I guess I missed that in Macbeth. The phrase, however, is wise counsel. … Read More
