“Age teaches resignation; grief teaches itself to be, to just be, because it turns out that it can’t be outrun or forgotten.” — Sharon Butala (Where I Live Now: A Journey through Love and Loss to Healing and Hope) Often after a death or other loss, major decisions have to be made. Should I move? Should I … Read More
Marie continued to cry daily, in spite of the therapeutic work we had done together after her husband’s death. She struggled to understand how her adult children managed to just go on with their lives not long after the funeral. Did they not love their dad? She was still so raw and they appeared to … Read More
As you may have read in my biography on this site, I am a counsellor and thus, in my work, I see grieving clients regularly. Some are grieving a death but other times it is the loss of a relationship or even a job that he or she loved dearly. At some point in their first session, … Read More
“I am rather like a mosquito in a nudist camp; I know what I want to do, but I don’t know where to begin.” ― David Allen (Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity) Grief is paralyzing. You know you need to do something but you are too overwhelmed to do anything more than sit … Read More
“Many grieving people simply suffer alone in the weirdness of grief, wondering if they’ve lost their minds on top of everything else.” — Megan Devine (www.refugeingrief.com) Grief is a full body and brain experience. Nothing feels right. Nothing feels normal. You can’t think. You can’t remember where you put your glasses or that the electricity bill … Read More
“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero (Roman Orator) From the beginning of time, people have supported each other during a time of bereavement. One person suffers a loss; another provides the strength to carry on. Some grievers reach out to … Read More
“You’ve got to trust yourself. Be gentle with yourself. And listen to yourself. You’re the only person who can get you through this now. You’re the only one who can survive your story, the only one who can write your future. All you’ve got to do, when you’re ready, is stand up, {and begin again.}” … Read More
“He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.” ― Robert Jordan, New Spring Whether the expectations are yours or other people’s, grief always includes things to do and things left undone. And, although Robert Jordan uses the pronoun he, drowning in a sea of expectations is NEVER … Read More
“I can do Hard Things” is a popular quote right now and yet, no one knows who to attribute it to. One of our focus group of widows said “always do the hard things” is her one bit of advice to new widows. Hard things come in many categories and across time. What is a … Read More
“Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver.” ― Sophocles, Antigone Another quote says, “Be Strong when you are weak. Be Brave when you are scared and Humble when you are Victorious. “ — Michelle Moschetti Also true, but not necessarily helpful when grieving. Often when someone we love dies, someone will “encourage” us to be strong. … Read More
Adele came into my office having had a hard week. Her husband had died a year ago. She had said a few weeks ago that she thought she was coping better but now, the car needed work and there was some confusion re finishing up his last tax return and all this felt like too … Read More
When tragedy first strikes, there seems to be a disconnect between our physical selves and our emotional selves. Terri noticed this within days after Jon’s funeral. When she was home, the quiet closed in on her and she wanted out. If she went to the mall or a coffee shop, there were too many people … Read More
