Dear Jerry, Oh my… I’m so sorry. I meant to write this letter last week but the time just got away on me. I know that’s not a great excuse but it’s the only one I have. As both your friend and a grief counsellor, I promised you I’d write out some thoughts every week … Read More
Dear Jerry, I just got your message saying that your dad had died. I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how tough this is for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me. Unfortunately, I only got your message this morning as I’ve been away in the mountains — intentionally … Read More
There are two emotions spoken about in the investment industry; fear and greed. Any investment professional will tell you real success lies in the ability not to let either emotion take control of your decision making. If they’re truthful, they’ll also tell you how trying to control these emotions is a constant battle. As a … Read More
On a brisk September Saturday morning, I hurried downtown. My mission? The Word on the Street Festival, a yearly event hosted by the Lethbridge Public Library. I particularly wanted to hear Sharon Butala, having recently read her book Where I live Now: A Journey through Love and Loss to Healing and Hope — remembering my … Read More
“A person can be courageous and at the same time have doubts. Courage and doubt can coexist.” — Barbara R. Wheeler (When a Spouse Dies: What I didn’t Know about Helping Myself and Others Through Grief.) A common quote links fear and courage saying that fear gives courage wings. But, perhaps a better link, particularly when grieving, … Read More
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” — Paul Tillich Often after a loss we retreat into ourselves, we struggle with those around us who simply do not ‘get it’. Our friends and family want us to be better quickly and we can’t — so we avoid their … Read More
“Loss has taught me that the death of a spouse or partner affects every aspect of the day.” — Barbara R. Wheeler, DSW Barbara R. Wheeler, the author of this slim volume (so slim, I struggled to find it in the library’s hold section) spent her career teaching future clinical social workers. As a therapist … Read More
Amy flinched at Carrie’s facial expression as Carrie walked toward her. One more friend. One more awkward exchange. One more “How are you doing?” or some other such question. If you’ve followed this blog or read anything in the area of grief and grieving you know that the grieving process is often referred to as … Read More
“We don’t do grief. Yet grief still does us.” (About Grief, Marasco & Shuff, 2010) As in my previous post on eulogies, this reflection was inspired by a book currently on my desk. I’m taking a break from my day-to-day work and for 4 weeks, living in a different city with —to my delight — … Read More
“And he leaves to mourn, with fond and loving memories…” When I first began my work as a counsellor, I was asked about value of a eulogy “because they just make everyone cry”. My response was that, to me, the eulogy was vital to funeral or memorial service. The eulogy was the one time when … Read More
As our bodies age, we notice that scrapes and bumps which once healed quickly (and still do so on our young grandchildren’s bodies) now take months to disappear. Signs of aging and physical scars go together in lockstep. One scar, on my right thumb, now looking like the letter Y, has served me well as … Read More
“Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Who is your oldest friend? When did you meet? When did you last speak — really speak, not text? When we are grieving these old friends are indeed valuable. Perhaps your friend reached out to you during this time. Perhaps he … Read More
