“A person can be courageous and at the same time have doubts. Courage and doubt can coexist.” — Barbara R. Wheeler (When a Spouse Dies: What I didn’t Know about Helping Myself and Others Through Grief.)
A common quote links fear and courage saying that fear gives courage wings. But, perhaps a better link, particularly when grieving, is courage and doubt. When we doubt our ability to move forward, to do hard things (another admonition by Dr. Wheeler), we wonder if we have the courage to carry on. Our doubts may be large and our courage may be small but deep inside our drive to live again, we find both.
The challenge then is to quiet the doubts — shush them to just a whisper — and to nurture and feed the courage. We can face change head-on (while at the same time doubting that we have what it takes to do so.)
One of the mysteries of grief is its contradictions.
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